licence
as permission and recognition shifts from authority to society, I try to grapple with how that tries to shape my identity and desired impact
I cannot promise my what is below will be novel or revolutionary. I do not promise enlightenment to anyone that reads. I can’t even guarantee whether or not it will make sense. But if this can drive one person to ponder and see what thoughts occur, then these nocturnal thoughts from my little black notebook on my bedside table have made a beautiful thing happen.
I lack the patience and diligence to do more than just dictate and transcribe what is written and merely offer this preface. Well I edited them a little because ai made mistakes.
I find myself torn.
Whilst I do love to write, it is primarily for selfish purposes of unravelling and solving my inner complexities. Whilst the moniker of writer has a certain allure that I wish to grasp, the title of thinker is something I consider far more desirable.
But I do not wish to pander for approval before claiming this role. However, I must somehow prove myself worthy of this. The best place to start is proving to myself and my immediate circle, I would assume.
I thought the goal of writing consistently would aid me in this endeavour, which it has. But less than 10% of these notes make it onto platforms that can garner widespread recognition.
Because people I shall never meet or rarely interact with have very little influence over my worth and outlook. I’m reading The Courage To Be Disliked, and it mentions how Socrates left behind no books, but thanks to Plato, we got to learn about his philosophies in modern day. He was too busy debating in Athens. Many other men of gumption did not hunch over parchment with ink, for they had scribes or witnesses that were so enamoured by their words that they could be entrusted to record their ideas. Maybe the true essence of what was initially shared was lost along the way, but one could argue that whatever has stood the test of time was just as profound back then, maybe even moreso.
But I do wonder whether things forgotten to history or never written down would have been given more attention by the modern man transported back in time. Another keen witness poised to write down an exclusive quote of the greats.
To live and engage in discussion is what I seek. The way the youth and philosopher do in the book I’m reading. How Socrates did in Athens. How Jesus did countless times.
All the while hoping it means something, at least enough to someone else for them to go away and ponder, and maybe even try solving their own inner complexities. I choose to consider this quiet desperation one of my healthier ones lol, since in its pursuit so far, I’ve gained riches of the kind thieves will have a hard time stealing...