verdict
fear quenches fires. what could be may never be known
Fear has held me back for too long. The paralysis of indecision is a rather frightful place I have often found myself in, however it weirdly comforts me because it is familiar and known.
Reading back on my previous post, I saw the hyphens were inconsistent in width, how certain thoughts were left unfinished, abandoned, I saw ways I could've worded certain parts better. I fed it through chatgpt before posting (after allowing those I trusted to read it and still not being satisfied, sry) because I wanted the tone to be consistent and phrasing to be engaging, but then it sounded less like me. I don't even use hyphens.
I also read it and wondered whether I can keep this up.
"How am I gonna follow this?"
"What else am I supposed to write about?"
"What if I'll never enter that same space I did, that spark that led to all this?"
I was chopping it up with a fellow writer earlier (shout out neo). We discussed many things, writing being one of them, naturally. I look forward to the day he shares with the world his creations, ones I am not at liberty to spoil. But we spoke of a magnum opus. A body of work that defines somebody's career:
Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling.
The Creation Of Adam by Michelangelo
To Pimp A Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar
The latter pick may be under contention. By who? The people. It is never the author, the artist, the creator that decides what shall be their greatest ever work. No footballer knows before they grace the pitch that they are about to put down a performance that the annals of history shall document in excruciating detail to be fantasised over (despite how the player when interviewed may fervently claim otherwise lol). It is the spectator, the fan, the pundit, the listener, the reader who decides. And not one alone, but the masses, a consensus somehow reached. By what it evokes within them, how it makes them feel, what it reminds them of, the places it takes them.
I implored neo to not let his pursuit of perfection hold him back from sharing his excitement with others. Whilst it can feel rather vulnerable to let things like this be seen, I believe there is more to be gained. Plus rejection is the father of resilience. Failure is a greater teacher than success.
In an attempt to avoid hypocrisy, I want to not care about tone and phrasing (sorry openai) and focus more on letting what is imperfect simply be.
Even if I struggle to believe that there are no original ideas, that with the collective 8 billion on this planet and the many more that have gone before us that the ideas I share have the possibility to be unique.
I'm trying to be more honest with myself, not letting fears of rejection, unoriginality, and anything of that nature or beyond hold me back, but rather allow space for growth and progression.
Here's to the next level.
teared up while reading this ☺️
There is a beauty in imperfection.